lotrwariorgodss

The Best Mistakes Last Forever
By Lotrwariorgodss

January

"Harry... Harry, wake up."

Harry was aware of a smooth, dark voice flowing into his ears, over his skin, between his body and the flesh-warmed sheets, and he snuggled down further into his pillows, making a soft noise of contentment. The sudden presence of a strong hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently, startled him into waking, and his eyelids fluttered open to let in the winter morning sunshine. He yawned widely and opened his eyes to see his half-dressed lover standing over him, hair damp from an early shower, pale skin looking almost translucent in the growing light. Harry smiled and put a hand over the one on his shoulder.

"Morning." His lover leaned in for a quick kiss, but when Harry tried to coax him back into bed, he pulled away and yanked the sheets back with him.

"Get up, you lazy brat."

God, Severus can really ruin a mood, Harry mused as he sat up and squinted, fumbling for his glasses on the bedside table, now so used to the twinge between his legs that he no longer winced upon shifting in bed on mornings following one of their trysts. As soon as he had his vision back, he flopped back down on the pillows, watching Severus dress in all his confining layers, and decided to act the part of his lover's accusation. "I don't wanna get out of bed."

"Granger and Weasley are expecting you in Diagon Alley in less than an hour, Potter - I suggest you get up."

Harry groaned. "I thought I asked you not to call me that when we were in bed."

"We are not in bed, Harry, and I suggest you get your lazy arse up as well, unless you want to provide the explanation for your tardiness, which I'm sure will go over incredibly well."

"How in the hell are you so coherent in the morning? And why are you in such a bloody rush?"

"You forget that being a spy for a great deal of my life has given me many skills for which I am grateful, one being the ability to switch from sleep to coherency at will, and I am already five minutes late for a staff meeting, which is, of course, entirely your fault."

"And you thought you would be a bad influence on me," Harry said with a wink, completely ignoring the underlying gravity of the first half of Severus's sentence. They had both agreed to steer clear of heart-to-hearts on war topics for at least a few months after their release from the hospital, and so far, they had succeeded beautifully. Harry was not about to break that fragile tranquility now.

Everything had happened so fast after the night Dumbledore was killed - the war had been over in a month, and had landed both Severus and Harry with injuries warranting a month-long stay in St. Mungo's. There, the only way to pass the time was to sit and think about all they'd done since the war began, the lives they'd taken, the shattered families left behind on both sides, and of course, talk to each other. Harry still had violent, screaming nightmares and Severus had periods where he would sink into a sullen, pensive silence, unbreakable by anyone save himself; but as they used each other to heal themselves, they had formed a bond that proved stronger than either would have ever guessed. It didn't take long after that for Harry's hormones to take over and change his new respect for Severus into an insatiable desire, and it had then taken until school let out for Christmas holidays for him to convince the older man that he was neither playing a joke nor fickle in his wishes. When Severus had finally relented and joined Harry for Christmas at Grimmauld Place, the boy had all but begged to be taken, so Severus led him through the loss of his virginity with a measure of care but without losing that intensity and violent darkness that was all Severus. Oh, there had been pain, but Harry insisted he wouldn't have had it any other way, and proceeded to prove it by being an unrelenting, insatiable bed partner for the rest of the week. Now it was the day before they were both due to return to Hogwarts, and they were reluctant to break the sweet schedule that had dominated their holiday, but they both had things to do and excuses to make. Harry sighed reluctantly and rose from the bed, pulling his boxers on before walking over to where Severus was shrugging on his robes.

"It's about time. I was preparing myself to drag you out of bed like a pouting toddler." When he turned, Harry stood on his tiptoes and threw his arms around Severus's neck, devouring his mouth in a zealous kiss until the older man gently nudged him away. "Enough - I'm late. Enjoy yourself with your partners in mischief today as it will probably be the only fun you'll have until your N.E.W.T.s are complete." He placed an afterthought of a kiss on Harry's forehead and walked to the center of the room. "And do take a shower, Potter; you positively reek of debauchery." Severus smirked at him and vanished with a pop.

******************************

Harry thought he had been handling Potions classes quite well - he hadn't smiled at Severus once, hadn't called him anything except 'Professor Snape' or 'sir', and hadn't given anyone cause to think things had changed between the two of them in their few weeks of holiday. They had already had the "It's-been-great-fun-but-you-know-we-can't-do-this-at-school" discussion, and Harry had only agreed because he knew Severus wouldn't be able to last more than a month, and he planned on making it as difficult as possible to last even that long. At the moment, he was staring intently at his professor, chewing absently on the end of his quill and letting Severus's deep voice sink into the pores of his skin. He never dozed off in Potions anymore.

"For the next few weeks, we will be studying the recipes and effects of various healing potions. Your assignment today is to create a muscle strengthening draught, used mostly for those whose muscles have atrophied during long periods of bed rest, victims of certain degenerative diseases, and persons who have been subjected to a Dark curse known as Valerian's Bane. Directions and ingredients can be found in your textbooks; use caution, as you will be testing the results of your potions on your partners at the end of the hour. Begin."

With the number of students participating in Snape's N.E.W.T. level class, Harry had had a limited choice of partners at the beginning of the year, and when Draco had offered, he had agreed in a heartbeat. Draco was the top Potions student in their year, and Harry had learned to tolerate him that summer when he had turned and had tried harder than ever to redeem himself and save his mother. They learned to have a grudging respect for each other, and especially now that Harry was involved with Severus... well, Draco was the older man's only family, and he didn't want to cause problems, so he swallowed his pride, held his hand out in forgiveness, and had found that being on Draco's good side (now that he actually had one) was much more preferable than the side he'd been on in the past. They still bickered with and teased each other, of course, but it had lost its hateful edge and now contained only simple competition and rivalry. So, as per usual, they were arguing, this time over the color of the smoke the potion emitted, when Severus approached their work-table.

"Am I to assume this noisy waste of breath means that you've finished your assignment?"

"Yes, Professor, but Potter seems to think that the color of the smoke was off. You said it was supposed to be lavender and it was lavender, so our potion is fine."

"Mm, and whose turn is it to test the potion this week?" Draco pointed at Harry and Harry sighed.

"But sir, the smoke was a different color, and I -"

"Drink it, Potter. The hospital wing is but a floor away should you need the use of its services, and the entire point of self-testing is to provide an extra incentive for you and your classmates to create tolerable potions."

Harry sighed and lifted the sample vial to his lips, downing it all in one swallow. He waited for his skin to turn green or steam to come out of his ears or something equally as horrifying to happen, but all he felt was a warmth sinking into his stomach and spreading through his abdomen, following the line of muscles there until it finally settled in a little ball.

"Well?" The Potions Master loomed above him, awaiting the results of their potion.

"I dunno... I feel warm I guess - energized."

Severus nodded. "Good - full marks, both of you." Draco and Harry grinned, but the man spoke again. "Detention tonight, Mr. Potter, for failing to obey simple instructions in a timely manner." With that, he strode back to his desk and awaited the completion of his other students' assignments.

For a second, Harry felt the old hatred bubbling up in his gut, reminiscent of the past when Snape had given him detentions for equally ridiculous transgressions, but it faded when he thought of all the possibilities that a detention with his Potions professor could now hold. Harry had seen the looks Severus had been giving him for the past week, as if he were going to disregard any sense of propriety and take Harry with fervor right over his desk, while everyone else looked on in shock. Oh yes, Harry had a feeling this detention would be worth remembering, so he bit back a scowl and mock-pouted as he made his way out the door.

When he returned at five 'til seven, Severus called him in and made him stand in front of his desk. Harry kept his head down to hide his smile; nearly a month without his lover and now he was finally going to have a night alone with him. His days of loathing detention were gone.
"Your task for this evening will be to clean that row of cauldrons on the floor. I suggest you do it quickly so that you may get back to your little friends."

Harry hadn't expected undying declarations of love from Severus, but whatever he had been expecting, it wasn't a work command and a quick dismissal.
"But... why?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "This is a detention, Mr. Potter; surely you did not come expecting to be mollycoddled all evening."

Harry almost threw a fit, but then he thought about the sight he would make on his knees on the dungeon floor, and saw the benefits of this task, figuring that Severus had done the same. Harry smirked and walked closer to the desk.
"Really, Professor? Detention?"

"Yes, Mr. Potter. Now get to work."

"But there are many other things I can be doing which would be far more productive, like homework, or studying, or... private tutoring."

Severus looked up at him with a fixed glare on his face. "Be that as it may, you are being punished, and punishment is not supposed to benefit its victim."

"I know why you gave me a detention today, Professor - you wanted to see me on my hands and knees scrubbing cauldrons for you."

"Is that so, Mr. Potter?" The boy smirked at him and Severus's glare grew more poisonous. "Might I remind you that while you, in your hormonal, egocentric state of mind, may believe that my world revolves around you and your overactive libido, some of us have more important things to do than cater to the wanton whims of a needy teenager. We have had this discussion already, and I refuse to have it again; I need those cauldrons cleaned and you are going to do it, because your insolent tongue and disregard for my expertise has caused trouble for you yet again. If you aren't set to your task in ten seconds, I will have no qualms with extending your sentence to a week of menial labor, and you will not have my patience and mercy to comfort you next time."

Harry gaped at him in stunned silence before turning his back to the man and dropping to his knees in front of the row of greasy ironware. He knew better than to let the venom in Severus's voice get him worked into a state of wretchedness, but he couldn't help feeling at least a little hurt that the man seemed to want nothing to do with him anymore. It had been nearly a month since he'd felt Severus's hands on him, Severus's lips on his, Severus inside him, and even though he saw Professor Snape nearly every day, he missed Severus. He sighed and picked up the cleaning rag inside the first cauldron - the last thing he wanted to do was anger the man, he might as well just do as he asked and see if obedience got him any farther than insolence.

On the fifth cauldron, his shirt un-tucked and sleeves rolled up to his elbows, scrubbing like mad, Harry leaned back on his heels and rubbed his forearm across his brow, wiping away the small amount of perspiration collected there. He was grateful for the quiet that had fallen over the room; he had absorbed himself in his task and left his thoughts for later, letting the trivial labor set him in comforting routine. Harry bent over again and prepared to finish the cauldron when Severus's voice shattered the silence and startled him so that he nearly tumbled over.

"Get up, Mr. Potter. This detention is over."

"But, sir, I haven't even fin-"

"I said, get up. Now."

Harry set the rag down next to his aching knees and rose, haphazardly tucking in one of his shirttails and turning to face his professor. If he had been any other student, he would have been sure that Snape was ill; but as it was, Harry had seen him in this state more than once, and knew he was far from ill. Perhaps something good would come out of this night after all.

"Thank you, Professor Snape. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?"

The older man's jaw clenched, his fingertips going white around his red-spattered quill. "No, Potter. Now remove yourself from my office before I am forced to remove you myself."

Harry took one tentative step forward, praying the man's wrath would hold out long enough for Harry to... persuade him. "You don't look well, sir - are you sure you don't need me for anything?"

The Potions Master removed his quill from the essay he had been "marking" and lifted his gaze slowly until it rested on Harry's face. The boy slid his palms onto the wooden edge of the desk, holding the man's gaze, anticipation rising with every moment. Like a violent lightning storm beginning with a soft breeze, Harry leaned over the desk and sighed a lust-filled whisper - "Severus..." -and the sizzling between them exploded.

Severus hissed sharply and shot up from his seat, his long arm easily reaching the length of the desk, fingers curling around Harry's tie, all in less than a heartbeat. As he was yanked forward at the neck, Harry drew a sharp, gasping breath before his tender, flushed face was slammed against the hard angles and sharp bones of Severus's. He mashed their mouths together, teeth ripping at the fragile skin of lips and tongues wrapping around each other to avoid being bitten. Severus tugged sharply on the crimson and gold noose around Harry's neck, and the boy stumbled, falling forward so that his mouth detached from his lover's with a whimper and his face hit the wood of the desk with a solid thunk. One growl of discontent from the dark man in front of him, and Harry scrambled up onto the desk, shed his shirt, and reconnected his mouth to Severus's after a pained and needy groan. Severus let go of the tie and used one strong arm around Harry's back to pull the boy off the desk and into his arms. Hands scrambled to gain purchase on belt buckles, buttons and zippers, and in moments, both were bare, Harry completely, Severus from the waist down. Harry pressed forward, grinding his groin into his lover's with abandon, apathetic to the fact that five minutes ago he had been on his knees scrubbing cauldrons.
Now firm hands were on his arse, squeezing and scratching, pressing him farther into the other man until his mouth broke away and he moaned, "God, please... fuck me, Severus..."

The older man scraped his teeth along Harry's jaw until he got to the fleshy part of the boy's ear where he bit gently. "Yes... your punishment."

"My... wh -" he cried out as the teeth dug in harder then released him.

"You will pay for your cheek, brat," Severus growled in his ear as he vanished everything on his desktop. He grabbed Harry's bony hips and twisted him around, then removed one hand and shoved so that the boy was lying bent over the desk, panting and brazen, cheek pressed into the wood. He dug the dark tip of his wand into that pale back and ran it down the length, watching with a morbid fascination as his spine arched and a long angry-red welt rose up in its wake. When he reached the delicately carved dimples in Harry's back, Severus muttered a spell and the boy whimpered in anticipation. "Quiet!" the man hissed, and laid a stinging smack on his arse. "You are still being punished." He leaned over Harry's back, letting the firm length of his prick rub in the cleft of the boy's arse. "And as Gryffindor's Golden Boy, I believe you require special attention." In a spilt second, he reared back, took himself in hand, and stabbed forward, worshipping Harry's scream as he was finally filled with the man for whom he'd been silently begging for weeks. Harry thrust his hips back immediately, savoring the burn that the lubricating spell had minimized, urging his lover to move.

"Don't stop, don't stop, don't -" His mouth opened in a silent scream and his face contorted as Severus pulled back and thrust in again with full force, slamming himself against the boy so hard he moved forward on the desktop, hands grabbing at nothing, eventually forming fists curled up next to his head. Harry spread his legs wider and moaned on the next thrust, making Severus gasp as he looked down to watch himself sink into that tightness and the boy's muscles clenched around him.

"God, Potter, you are such a little slut." Thrust. "Seducing me while you're being punished." Groan. "Tell me, my little slut, would you spread your legs for any man in this school?" Harry's head shook feverishly. "Any boy?" He scoffed and didn't even bother shaking his head.

"No. 'M yours."

Severus leaned over Harry's splotchy, sweaty back and took a mouthful of flesh from the boy's neck, biting down hard and possessively as he continued to drive into his near-virgin arse.
"Good," he drawled against a lickable ear, and slid a hand down Harry's back, around his hip and stroked his thigh before taking the boy's leaking cock in hand. Harry cried out and ground his hips back, now torn between thrusting forward into Severus's hand and backwards to impale himself further. Soon, however, it mattered very little; they were a frenzy of movement, no rhythm, no control, no sound except the slick slap of skin on skin, harsh cries and thick moans that echoed around them. They climaxed silently together, both breathless, their faces screwed up in desperately needed release. Severus took care not to collapse on Harry's already aching body, instead pulling out and drawing his boneless body backwards as he sat in the deserted desk chair. Harry shifted in his arms to face him, his rapidly cooling body finding warmth in Severus's lap and chest, the man's usual loathing of affection forgotten in these moments of afterglow. It only lasted moments, and when the older man nudged him and told him to get dressed, he sighed in resignation and did as he was told.

They both dressed in silence, and now, his back to Severus's door, Harry straightened his tie and re-buttoned his cuffs while his professor looked on sternly.

"Twice a month, Potter - that's all we can risk."

Harry smirked and shoved his hands deep in his robe pockets. "Yes, sir, I'll try to think of some unique ways to acquire my detentions."

"Don't you dare; I'll send you to Filch faster than you can say 'thumbscrews'."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes, Professor." He turned to go, but a strong grip on his arm stopped him.

"Wait." Severus drew him up into a parting kiss, and Harry opened his mouth immediately to accept his lover's devouring attention. Behind the kiss, he could feel the back of his neck tingling where Severus had bit him, and when he pulled away he saw the older man sheathe his wand.

Harry's hand shot up to the spot and he gave Severus an accusing glare. "You didn't heal it, did you?"

The older man raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "No, I cast a glamour on it. I know your reckless behavior is one of your more distinctive qualities, but I doubt you would have found much thrill in explaining a bite-mark of that magnitude to your housemates."

Harry smiled and leaned in for another quick kiss. "Thank you."

Severus waved him off and opened the door. "Go away, Harry; I have work to do."
Harry opened his mouth to say something seductively clever but found the door slammed in his face. He chuckled under his breath and gingerly walked down the long corridor that would eventually lead him to Gryffindor Tower.

He paused outside the entrance to the Common Room and fingered the bite on his neck, shivering slightly as he remembered all Severus had done to him. He took out his wand and pressed it to the mark, whispering a cancellation spell and smiled. Perhaps it was time they knew; Hermione would be the only one to notice, and she'd tell Ron and they'd both approach him, worried out of their minds. He knew his lover would never approve of doing something so foolish, but then, he was never one for obedience; so, grinning and looking thoroughly well-shagged, he climbed through the portrait hole and straightened his robes, thankful for once that he had had detention.

February
"I absolutely loathe this holiday," Severus growled as yet another charmed cupid hit him in the forehead with a sparkling arrow. "You let them into my rooms, didn't you, brat?"

Harry smiled up at him cheekily. "Maybe."

"You did it to vex me, didn't you?"

Harry smiled through a yawn and stretched across the bed like a lazy jungle cat. "You do shag so well when you're vexed. For an old man, I mean." Harry's grin faded at the look on his lover's face, and when Severus twitched, Harry yelped and ran off like a shot. Even with his head start, the boy was no match for the "old man", and he soon found out their previous times hadn't even approached "vexed", and oh, vexed was good.

March

Harry groaned as he opened his eyes to find the familiar stone ceiling of the hospital wing consuming his vision... again. After six years of spending more time in this infirmary than any still-living student should have had a right, he was thoroughly sick of the place and hoped Madame Pomfrey would come soon so he could be released. Nothing much had happened - he had collapsed after some muscle spasms and probably hit his head on the way down - the medi-witch would come in and scold him for being so clumsy and he could get back to Hermione's study schedule. As if on cue, a bustling Madame Pomfrey pushed aside the curtains surrounding his bed and placed a glass of water on his bedside table.

"Good evening, Harry."

"Hullo, Madame Pomfrey. How much damage did I do this time?"

The medi-witch smiled warmly at him and patted his cheek. "Not much, dear. There was a cut over your eye from when you fell, but I mended it and it should be fine."

"Brilliant. Can I go then?"

"Not quite yet, Harry, I need to speak with you about something first." She stepped slightly away from his bedside and took a deep breath. "Do you know why you collapsed?" The boy shook his head. "Well, Harry, this is going to be very difficult to hear, so I'll just say it plainly. You are pregnant."

"Umm..." Right, he'd hit his head, he was hearing things. "What was that again?"

"I performed a full body scan in trying to diagnose the reason for your collapse, and that reason is that you are pregnant."

Harry continued to stare at her blankly. "But... I... but I'm... how in the hell can I be..."

Madame Pomfrey stared down at him, hands clasped behind her back, trying her best to be professional and detached from the whole matter, but still wearing a sympathetic frown and a hint of apology in her eyes. "My best guess is a spell or potion gone wrong. From the child's development, I can place the time of conception somewhere around late January, and you would have had to taken the potion or have the spell cast three days or less before engaging in sexual intercourse with... another man."

Normally, Harry would have blushed profusely at the medi-witch's obvious discomfort, but after hearing the news he'd just heard, he felt as though someone could have come and cut his heart out of his chest and held it in front of his face and all he'd be able to say would be 'Hmm... that's interesting'. "The only magic I've been exposed to is what I've had to do in classes. I think I'd remember a spell being cast, and all of our potions have turned out fine."

"That's right, Professor Snape makes you test your own potions at N.E.W.T. level. Is there any one you can remember that didn't turn out like it was supposed to?"

And it hit him. His eyes widened and he took in a slow breath as he covered his mouth with a trembling hand. "Oh, fuck."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'."

"But... how could this have happened?! I don't have the... right... equipment to be pregnant!"

Madame Pomfrey sighed, conjured herself a chair, and set it next to Harry's bed. "All right, I'll start at the beginning. You're liable to forget it all anyway, so it won't be too wasteful if nothing sinks in due to your shock. When children are conceived this way, they do not begin development normally. The male anatomy at conception is not fit for reproduction, so the child begins to develop in a sort of magical cocoon instead of a uterus. It's the same sort of concept, only it is not a part of the man's body, but an implantation - think about it like a surgically implanted crystal ball that eventually settles and converts into proper female anatomy. That is how we explain your collapse. This conversion often involves a great deal of pain as organs shift and muscle tissue redistributes itself, and though you will never grow external female sex organs, you will internally go through many changes to accommodate the child. When the time for delivery comes, you cannot have a 'natural birth', so we will have to perform a Muggle Cesarean section, which, for Witches... and Wizards, is actually much more preferable if you do not plan on having any more children." She paused, and Harry noted that she had the same look in her eyes that Severus had when he received invitations to gather rare ingredients or brew Masters' potions.

"I won't lie to you, Harry - I have never seen a case like this before, and one hasn't been reported for over sixty years. I mean, there are potions to switch genders and more fertility potions than Professor Snape could brew in a month's time, but a male pregnancy is extremely rare, and I'm afraid we'll be walking in the dark most of the time. I've no idea how your body will react to the hormones and belly expansion or any of the things we usually associate with pregnancy." Harry's bewildered face must have lulled her out of her fascination with the topic. "I will do everything I can, Harry. There is research to be done, of course, and medicines to be fetched, and I want you to come straight to me if you feel the slightest bit ill along with seeing me once a week to check-up on your health and the baby's." He didn't look the slightest bit reassured, his face morphing from a pale, startled expression to a greenish, anxious one, and she placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "Harry, I know this must be beyond shocking for you and is certainly more awkward a position than you ever hoped to be in; can I summon someone for you? The father, perhaps?"

Harry shook his head violently. He and Severus would both be in a world of trouble if anyone found out, especially now, and Harry had enough hanging over his head at the moment, thank you very much.

"Will you tell me who he is, Harry? You know I have to keep it in the strictest confidence."

"No, Madame Pomfrey."

"But Harry, what if he has some genetic condition we need to be aware of or a -"

"I said, no."

"Very well, but there are some people we must tell right away. The Headmistress needs to know, along with Professor Snape since he'll be brewing all the potions I need to give you and will refuse to do so unless he knows the reason why."

Harry could only imagine the look of rage on Severus's face if he head from Madame Pomfrey that the boy he'd been taking to bed was pregnant, and, unfortunately, it was only slightly worse than the look he'd be wearing when Harry told him himself. The young man whimpered a bit in displeasure and shut his eyes tight, suddenly finding reality a bit too harsh for his liking.

"It's alright, Harry - Professor Snape is a professional, and I'll tell him for you so you don't even have to confront him if you don't want to."

Harry shook his head and opened his eyes. "No, I'll tell him. He'd never agree to it unless I gave him this opportunity to humiliate me," Harry added when the medi-witch looked skeptical.

"Well, as long as you feel comfortable doing so. Now, I have to be off to London's medical library, and you are free to leave, but I expect you back in three days. Is there anything I can do for you before I go?" Harry shook his head weakly. "Would you like me to contact an adoption agency for you?"

"No, I... can I just be alone for a little while?"

The medi-witch nodded and gave him a parting look of sympathy before closing the curtains around his bed and honoring his wish to be by himself. Harry immediately brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them tight, feeling numb and so alone. He lowered his head onto his knees and sighed deeply, thinking that curling up and dying sounded like the best idea he'd had all day.

******************************

When Harry finally gathered up all the courage he possessed and forced himself from his infirmary bed, he bypassed the stairs he usually took to get back to Gryffindor Tower and turned down the long corridor that would lead him to the dungeons instead. He couldn't figure out what to say. Severus, I'm pregnant was blunt enough, but Harry didn't think he'd believe him if that's all he said. Snape, you bastard! That bloody potion you made me test was faulty and now I'm pregnant with your baby, you fucker! didn't have quite the ring he wanted either, but he was at the door to Severus's quarters, so he didn't have time to think of anything more eloquent or insulting. He braced himself, took a deep breath, and knocked.
For a while there was no answer, Harry was just about to knock again when a familiar baritone voice that had always made his heart speed up commanded him to 'wait a moment', and his heart sped up for entirely different reasons. The door opened slowly, revealing a stern-looking Severus Snape whose irritated frown morphed into a smirk upon seeing who had called on him so late.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, recovered from your collapse, I see. Come in then." Harry strode past him and sank into the black leather armchair they had both come to think of as his own. Severus closed the door and leaned with his back against it, his trademark Predatory Smirk plastered on. "I realize you find me devastatingly attractive for some unknown reason, but really, Potter, you must refrain from swooning around me or the others are liable to catch on."

"Please don't, Severus - not now," Harry said as he stared morosely into the fire, counting the seconds until he would be thrown out in the cold for being such a careless brat. It only took him a moment to realize Severus was no longer snarking at him, so he looked up and saw his lover still perched at the door, a curious, but still roguish look on his face. Might as well get it over with.
"Severus, I have something to tell you."

"What's the matter, Harry? You're not really ill, are you? You look almost as pale as me." The Potions Master finally made his way toward the small sitting area, standing in front of Harry's chair making Harry feel as though he were back in the infirmary being scrutinized for his health.

"Yeah, well, you would be too if you... " Harry sighed and put his head in his hands. "Look, Severus, just sit down, alright? You're really not going to be happy with me in about a minute, and this will be much easier without you looming over me like you're about to give me a fucking detention!"

Normally for such an outburst, Severus would ask Harry to leave until he felt like he could handle "grown-up matters" (which usually infuriated Harry to a near hysterical rage), but everything about Harry's behavior was troubling, and he was curious as to what the boy could have done. Perhaps the time had finally come when Harry had realized he should be moving on to younger, happier partners... yes, he needed to sit down. He situated himself across from Harry and steepled his fingers in his lap, preparing himself for the blow.
"Well? What is this about, Harry?"

"Remember a few weeks ago when you forced me to drink that potion Draco and I made and you gave me that spectacular detention?"

"I remember the detention; what of it?"

"Apparently the potion did more damage than we thought."

Severus cocked his head. "And precisely what sort of damage did we exact? I don't remember anything being wrong with it."

"I'm pregnant, Severus."

The older man scoffed and sat back in his chair. "Really, Potter, April Fool's day isn't for another week, and I'd have expected something more dramatic than -"

Suddenly, Harry was flying at him, fists clenched and raised, eyes blazing with fury, screaming uncontrollably. "This is your fault, you bastard! YOU made me drink that fucking potion, and YOU fucked me afterwards, and now YOU have the nerve to sit there like a sarcastic self-righteous prick and call me a liar when I've just found out I have a... a... YOUR baby growing inside me!'

Harry started pummeling his fists into the older man's chest as hard as he could, and Severus could only sit there in bewilderment as the blows turned to bruises underneath his skin. Finally Harry had tired himself out and was standing in front of Severus's chair, taking deep heaving breaths, a look of absolute murder in his eyes.

"Harry... Harry, are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm fucking serious! Why would I say something like that to you if I wasn't?! God, you're such a -"

Severus reached out, grabbed the front of Harry's robes, and pulled hard, so that the boy stumbled onto him, awkwardly straddling his lap. He was startled for a moment, but almost immediately put his palms against Severus's chest and pushed, wriggling his hips and grunting in frustration trying to remove himself from his lover's lap.

"Let me go, I want... ugh, let go!" Harry squirmed and fought, but Severus's arms around his waist were strong, and his will to keep the boy exactly where he was was stronger.

"Stop it, Harry - I'm not letting you go."

Already exhausted, when Harry's hand slipped from Severus's chest and he fell forward, he made no move to push himself away again. Instead, he brought his other hand up around Severus's shoulder and latched onto him as if the man was the thread of life itself. Severus held his trembling body, almost amazed the boy wasn't sobbing into his chest until he remembered that carrying a child in his very male teenage body would not be the most horrifying thing Harry had experienced, and he held him a little tighter.

When the boy's shuddering had subsided, he realized Harry had started muttering into his shoulder and he could only catch traces of "baby" and "can't" and "stupid potion"...

"Harry, are you sure -"

"If you dare ask me whether or not I'm sure it's yours..." The ridiculous response murmured into the wool of his robes almost sounded comical, but he knew a chuckle at this point would mean his death.

"Oh, stop it - I wasn't going to question you about that. I was going to ask if you're sure it was the potion."

"It makes the most sense. Madame Pomfrey said it was the end of January and that it was a fault in magic. We weren't casting anything that week except Advanced Patronuses in Defense, so it wasn't that."

"Damn."

"What?"

"You're really pregnant."

Harry scoffed. "Yeah, you catch on fast."

Severus closed his eyes, his mind whirring with thousands of thoughts that he hadn't the presence of mind to deal with at the moment. "It's my fault."

Harry shook his head against Severus's chest. "No, it's nobody's fault. How could you know this could possibly happen? Even Madame Pomfrey had to restrain herself from looking at me as a freak." Finally, Harry lifted his head, and his voice was unmuffled when he spoke. "Severus... what are we gonna do?"

"Well... I certainly never figured this scenario into anything I'd planned for our future. I suppose we'll have to have a bonding ceremony, and then, if you'd like you can -"

"Wait, what? You want to get bonded?"

"It's only proper, Harry."

Harry scowled and began to struggle for freedom again. "Well, that surpasses it all as the shittiest thing you have ever said to me. I refuse to bond with you, not because of this. I don't want you tied to me forever just because I'm the one having your child. I can bloody well live without your guilt and pity."

Severus sighed. "Harry, please -"

"No. I won't bond with you."

The older man shook his head and Harry stilled in his arms once again. "Very well. I hardly think your public will share your views on the matter, but I won't force you."

Harry sighed and buried his face in Severus's shoulder. "I do want to be with you, Severus, but not like this. I just... can we talk about this tomorrow?"

Severus nodded and shifted in his chair. "Yes - I suppose you've had enough to deal with for the day. In any case, there's little we can do. You had best return to -"

"No, I need to stay here tonight. Please, Severus, don't make me go back to the tower; I want to... I can't..."

"You can stay, Harry. Just be calm - you're going to throw yourself into another fit."
Harry sighed and settled back down into Severus's lap, the long fingers carding through his hair accompanying him into sleep. Severus didn't take him to bed for long hours; he just sat staring into the fire, waiting for everything to sink in. When he caught himself nodding off and noted that he was still in a state of astonishment, he decided to give up, carried Harry to his bed, and lay awake until the light of dawn pierced his high dungeon windows.

May

Harry cursed his expanding waistline as he re-buttoned his shirt for the third time that day. He had been thanking whatever deity or ancient Headmaster was responsible for the mandatory robes in his uniform ever since he noticed his stomach was no longer flat from years of malnourishment or Quidditch. They had always hid debauchery like that's what they were made for - once used for wayward erections and hickeys, now he needed them to hide the surest sign of his sexual activity, and he hoped that it would be enough until he could find a decent glamour. He walked with his best friends down the main corridor to the Great Hall, adjusting his clothes and holding a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh as Ron rolled his eyes at Hermione's studying lecture.

"Honestly, you two are going to fail your N.E.W.T.s and then what will you do? You, Ronald, will end up in some dead-end Ministry job, and Harry..." she lowered her voice to an irritated whisper, "you have more than yourself to think about now."

"Bloody hell, 'Mione; stop bringing it up every five seconds - I'm sure he hasn't forgotten."

Harry chuckled and waved her off. With Ron avoiding the subject at all costs and Hermione acting as if Harry was going to break down in a hormonal rage any second, Harry thought they balanced each other quite well, and was just happy they hadn't disowned him.

"We'll be fine, Hermione; all I really have to study for is Potions and I have Draco to help me with that." Ron cringed when Harry used the blond's first name, but his cringe left a frown in its wake when a familiar drawl came from behind them.

"Talking about me again, Potter? I always knew you were obsessed."

Harry rolled his eyes and turned around to face him. "What do you want, Draco?"

The blond smirked and looked him straight in the eyes, only taking a quick moment to dart his gaze down to Harry's belly. "You're getting a bit pudgy, Potter. Been eating too much treacle tart?"

"Fuck you, Malfoy." But his glare didn't have quite the heat that it used to.

"No, I think the phrase you mean is 'fuck me', and yes, apparently someone did."

Ron and Hermione looked on in shock as Harry's eyes widened and he grabbed the sleeve of the blond's robe, pulling him back through the door and into an empty corridor, where he turned on him with a deadly look.
"I don't know what the hell you think you know, Malfoy, but you had better shut your fucking mouth."

The blond rolled his eyes at Harry and leaned up against the wall. "Oh stop being so dramatic - I know all about it, and I find it rather amusing, if not a trifle repulsive."

"You... what?!"

"Severus told me he knocked you up." He ran his eyes slowly up and down Harry's body, smirking when he passed over the slightly protruding abdomen. "Didn't believe him at first but now the evidence is hard to deny."

Harry scowled and crossed his arms over his belly, trying his hardest to push it back to its flat state. Draco said nothing, just raised an eyebrow and kept the smirk on his face until Harry realized his efforts were failing miserably and he uncrossed his arms to settle his hands on his hips.
"I can't believe he told you!"

"He had to tell me, Harry; I'm going to be living at his Manor house until I find a job in London that suits me. He didn't really have a choice since all my assets are still frozen. Don't be put out because he didn't tell you; I just asked him half an hour ago. Hopefully I'll be gone by the time your... extra visitor arrives."

Harry bit his lip and his eyebrows furrowed with worry. "You can't tell anyone, Draco."

The blond scoffed. "Please, Harry - and get my own godfather sacked for fucking around with a student? You really do think the whole world revolves around you, don't you?"

"You know I don't. This is Severus's home, and I won't see him thrown out because of me."

"You must be joking - Severus hates this place. The only thing keeping him here now is that no one in his right mind would hire a known Death Eater so soon after the war. And well... you're here."

Harry's glare softened and he ran his fingers through his hair, obviously still anxious about the whole situation.
"Swear to me you won't tell or that I won't find this plastered all over the front page of the Prophet tomorrow morning."

Draco's mouth set in a firm line and he crossed his arms over his chest. "I won't breathe a word. I couldn't do that to Severus... I wouldn't do it to either of you. I can't believe even now you think I would do something like that."

Harry sighed. "It's not that, Draco, I'm just nervous. People are bound to start talking soon, and we've already had a hard enough time keeping it a secret without more people knowing."

"More people? Who else knows?"

"Only Ron and Hermione know about Severus, but Madame Pomfrey and the Headmistress know about the baby." He looked down at his stomach. "I have a feeling more are going to know soon."

"Why don't you just ask Severus for a glamour or a Disillusionment charm. He was a spy for over five years; I'm sure he could come up with something."

"I know, I will." Harry looked up and saw a smile, not a smirk, on Draco's face, and he smiled back. "Thanks, Draco."

The blond rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the wall. "Whatever, Potter. It's partially my fault anyway, so I'd be a right bastard to really tease you for it. Though I can't promise I won't spell a few banners to say 'Potter is a cock-sucking slut' at our next Quidditch match."

Harry smirked and walked down the corridor, turning his head to call to Draco. "Do it and I'll help my wand relieve you of any suck-worthy bits."

The blond grinned and caught up with him, causing a number of eyebrows to raise when they walked in the Great Hall together, laughing uncontrollably.

June

"Alright, Harry, let's get started, shall we? I can let you see the baby's magical aura if you like, and we'll most likely find out the sex from that." Harry nodded and held still as Madame Pomfrey ran her wand over him and hummed rhythmically for a few minutes before nodding in satisfaction and moving away from his bedside. "I've cast the charm, Harry. Come stand over by this mirror and you'll be able to see the auras."

Harry climbed out of bed awkwardly, still unused to the uneven weight of pregnancy, and came to stand before the mirror Madame Pomfrey had indicated, gasping aloud when he saw his reflection. His body was outlined in foot-long rays of deep emerald green, so dark in some places they looked black, with a few gold threads sparking in and out of life near his head and hands. Harry quickly forgot the beauty of his own aura, however, when he looked down at his belly to see his baby's. Madame Pomfrey had knelt on the floor to get a better look, and she smiled when the young man smoothed a hand over the smudgy dark blue and black circle surrounding his belly and she got up from the floor.

"See that, Harry?" She made a circle with her finger on the mirror on the left side of the darker circle. "That's your baby's aura - a combination of you and your partner's - and see this faint blue tinge around the inside? That means it's a boy."

He smiled widely and traced the circle in the mirror, but as he was about to comment, the medi-witch took hold of his wrist and moved his finger to trace another circle, slightly darker and a little to the right of the other; had she not traced it for him, he would have never seen the difference. "Know what that is, Harry?" The young man shook his head. "That's your other baby boy."

Harry turned to look at her so fast his neck popped and he pulled his hand away from the mirror as though it had become a red hot iron. "My... my what?"

"I believe you're carrying twins, Harry," she said with a smile.

BOOM! The Infirmary door opened with a slam strangely reminiscent of the explosion that had just gone off in Harry's skull.

"Poppy, how do you expect me to... " Severus trailed off when he saw his lover standing in front of a full length mirror, bathed in the striking colors of his own aura with a dark spread of midnight blue bathing his abdomen. He had, of course, known that Harry's next and most monumental appointment had been scheduled for this day, but having had to keep their relationship a secret, he had never expected he would be a witness to it, and now, faced with a stunning visual of their situation, he was startled into silence.

"Stop gaping, Severus; how do I expect you to what?"

"I... that is to say, how do you expect... the potions..."

"For goodness sake, spit it -"

A green inferno roared to life in the fireplace and the frantic head of a Ravenclaw prefect appeared in the flames.

"Madame Pomfrey!" The medi-witch clicked her tongue in annoyance and headed over to the hearth, speaking briefly with the head in the fire before it was extinguished and she made her way back over to the mirror.

"Can you hold on just a minute, Harry? Seems I'm needed urgently in one of the Greenhouses. Can you stay a few more minutes as well, Severus?" He nodded curtly. "Good. I'll be back as soon as I can. Oh, and do try and be nice to the boy, he's just found out he's having twins."

The medi-witch vanished in a flash of green and Harry and Severus were left alone, the younger man standing awkwardly by the mirror, head hanging as though in shame, the older shocked into immobility, gaze fixed intently on the younger until he sorted his thoughts with a shake of his head and came to stand next to his lover.

"Did she say..."

"Twins." Harry finished for him, eyes glued to the floor at his feet. "Boys."

A curled hand came up under his chin and coaxed his head up until he was looking straight into Severus's eyes. "You look beyond miserable, Harry; are you upset to be carrying two children instead of one?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I... I'm just shocked I guess. I was just starting to get used to the idea of having a baby in the first place, and now there's two."

"You think it will be too much of a burden?" Severus's hand strayed from his chin and came up to stroke his cheek. Harry sighed and leaned into the touch.

"No, well... do you still want to help me raise them?"

"Of course, Harry."

"Then no, it's not too big a burden." He laid a hand on his swollen belly and sighed through a smile, looking back into the mirror, taking in the sight of their three combined auras. Severus came to stand behind him and wrapped his arms around Harry's chest, the small threads of gold increasing in brilliance and number wherever he touched.

"So. Two boys. I suppose that means we can start thinking of names."

"Mm, and setting up a room for them. It might be fun to spend the summer painting and making everything baby-proof." Harry laughed softly and took on a sickeningly sweet tone. "Should we have a color theme? How about baby-blue with little angels or yellow with little duckies." Harry rolled his eyes, and Severus made a face.

"You may paint the room anything you like as long as you stay away from sickening pastels, and you are severely delusional if you think any child of yours is going to be anything resembling an angel."

Harry chuckled and nudged his elbow back into Severus's ribs. "Speak for yourself, Death Eater."

Months ago, such a comment would have had Severus shoving Harry away from him in a cold fury, but now he just tightened his lips in a thin line and nodded toward the mirror. "What about that color in their auras, that dark blue?"

Harry nodded and closed his eyes, relishing in the few minutes he could have, enveloped warm and safe, before they would be parted again by propriety and the threat of disapproving eyes. Severus's arms felt good, knowing his children were healthy felt good, and in spite of their troubled circumstances, Harry was profoundly happy.

July

Harry refolded Ron's letter with a sigh and flopped back onto Severus's sofa. "Ron and Hermione are headed to America for two weeks on holiday, and they wanted me to go with them."

"Mm... and?"

"And, what? You don't think I could actually go into the Muggle world... or the Wizarding one for that matter, looking like this, do you?"

Severus looked up from the letter he was writing and gave Harry a once-over. "We've been able to conceal you with various glamours so far; I don't see why we couldn't do the same if you took a holiday with your friends."

Harry sighed. "It's not just that, Severus. I can't just run off to America. What if something happened to the babies? Besides, I can't do that sort of thing anymore; if I'm going to be a proper father I have to put my children ahead of myself."

As Harry sat up on the couch, casually drumming his fingers on his belly, Severus sat and blinked in astonishment at him from across the room. His lover was only a week shy of eighteen and already he felt it was his duty to confine himself to household and parental duties for his next eighteen years. Perhaps Severus had forced him into it. To be sure, Harry had vehemently refused his request for them to be bonded, but when Severus had offered to provide Harry and their children with his home, the boy had agreed in a heartbeat. Did he feel trapped into this situation? Once their boys were born and grown a bit would Harry resent him and leave, shattering his way of life once again? Severus didn't know if he could stand another such upheaval.

Perhaps his only choice was to let Harry go. He was so young; he should be out partying every night, getting drunk and passing out with his friends, going to clubs and dancing heatedly with strangers, or at least able to take off on holiday without a word to anyone, just pick up and leave and have the time of his life. Severus wouldn't say he was exactly ready for a family, but he at least had had practice spending his nights and holidays at home - his youth was long past, and he had no intention of returning to it. He should give Harry an out; make sure he knew that Severus wasn't holding him here under lock and key. He should make sure that Harry knew that at this point, though he would never say so, Severus would do anything to keep that glint of mischief and life in the boy's eyes. Without looking up from the parchment on his desk, he began to speak.

"You know, Harry, we could come to a sort of agreement with the children if you wish."

"What do you mean, Severus?"

"Well, I was thinking that if I took them into my sole care you would be free to wreak havoc all around the world with your cohorts without having the additional burden of caring for infants."

Harry curled a protective arm over his belly and backed away from him with a scowl. "I can't believe you just said that to me."

"What? I thought you'd be overjoyed at being rid of such responsibility."

"These are my children, Severus. After the childhood I had you really think I'd abandon them?"

"You would not be abandoning them, and your parents didn't want to leave -"

"Go back and tell my five year old self that, why don't you. Bring a teddy with you too so I'll have more than myself to cling to when I have nightmares."

"I -"

"No, Snape; if anyone's going to have sole custody over them it's going to be me, and if you try to take them away from me, I'll make sure you never see so much as a hair on either of their heads!"

Severus stalked over to where Harry was trembling on the sofa, and for a moment, Harry was sure he was going to be hit; instead, he found himself folded in the warmth of Severus's arms and immediately regretted everything he'd just said.
"Hush, Harry - nobody is going to take our children away from you, least of all me. I just thought you might want a few years away; you're still very young you know."

"Of course I know, I just thought you wanted me to stay here with you..." His face fell and he made to push Severus away, but the older man just held on tighter.

"Of course I do, Harry, but... do you remember when you told me you didn't want me to commit to you just because you were having my child?" Harry nodded. "The same is true for me - I don't want you to feel tied to me, or feel like you have to stay with me out of desperation or having no place else to go. I would provide for you always, but I would never want to start a permanent relationship living with someone who I didn't believe... cared for me. If you're only agreeing to the living arrangements because you believe there is no other option, I'm trying to relieve you of that opinion. If, however, you want to stay with me for other reasons, by all means retain your stubbornness and do exactly as you wish, you'll hear no complaint from me."

Harry sighed and relaxed into Severus's embrace. "I don't just want you to not complain about it, I want you to want it."

"Harry, you know I..." Severus trailed off, for once in his life, unsure of the words he wanted to say. When a few moments of silence had stretched themselves out, Harry shook his head and smiled at him.

"I know, Severus. And believe me, I wouldn't want to stay here unless I cared for you... you know, unless I loved you."

Severus was so stunned by this admission, he was nearly unresponsive when Harry tightened their embrace and nuzzled the skin behind his ear, leaning up to whisper.
"I'm only eighteen, Severus, I don't want to do this by myself. I think I could... but I don't want to, not without you."

Severus half-released him and cupped the boy's strong jaw in his hand, bringing him around for a kiss. "You needn't worry about that, Harry," he murmured against the familiar lips, finally letting him go and allowing Harry to pillow his head on Severus's broad chest. "I just want to assure you that I do not mean to confine you here, by obligation or a misplaced sense of duty. You have so much to experience, and I would hate for you to miss the things the world can show you by being entrapped here with me and two screeching infants."

Harry grinned up at him. "I think I'll experience that first. Besides, we can all go on holiday after the boys are born, can't we? As a family?"

Severus's heart tightened and he kissed Harry briefly on the forehead. "Of course, Harry. As a family."

August

Severus was a light sleeper, having had to spend countless years with his head turned to look over his shoulder as often as it faced forward. So when he felt a slight nudge at his shoulder, he was instantly awake and rolling to the side to face the interruption.

"Severus, I can't sleep."

"Sing yourself one of those lullabies you've been practicing and you will."

"But I'm too hot."

"Then put your bloody pillow in the ice box and sleep amongst those god-awful pistachio ice cream bars."

"No, Severus," the boy tugged on him until they were pressed close together and Severus felt an insistent hot length pressed against his thigh, "I'm too hot to sleep."

"Ah. And I suppose you think I should be the one to relieve you of said insomnia?"

"I was hoping you might like to."

Severus sighed with annoyance, intending to play out their usual game of pretending that they only shagged the living daylights out of each other because they had nothing better to do, but a snarky comment died on his lips when he saw the rejected expression on Harry's face.

"Look, I know I'm disgusting like this, but could you please indulge me just this one night? I promise I won't bother you again if you don't want, I just... wanted to be close to you tonight."
Severus's heart ached at hearing the near desperate pleas for affection coming from his young lover's lips, but he forced himself to keep his indifferent demeanor. Harry didn't want sappy, coddling love; he wanted Severus, with all his passion and intensity.

"I suppose I could, provided you tell me exactly what it is you want." He leaned up on his elbow and reached over Harry, pinning the younger man to the bed with his chest. "So, Harry," he began trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses across his face and down his neck, "what do you want me to do to you?"

Harry squirmed and groaned softly under Severus's unrelenting lips, which were now snaking across his shoulders and collarbones. "Don't care... anything..."

"Mm... might anything include this?" He licked a stripe across one of the rosy nipples on Harry's chest and reveled in the whimper that followed it. Severus wandlessly summoned a small jar that they used often and smeared a bit of the slick substance on his hand. "Or this?" He reached down and took his lover's erection in hand, stroking only once before letting his fist rest at the base. "What do you want, Harry?"

The boy licked his lips and arched his back slightly, slowly shaking his head back and forth on the pillow. "You, just you."

Severus's straddled Harry's thighs and went to lean down so he could attend his lover's chest, but there was an... obstruction. This could be difficult, he thought as he stroked the side of Harry's belly, which had grown a seemingly impossible amount in the past two weeks. Slowly, he slid to the side, and kneeled next to his lover's body instead.
"Turn on your side." The young man shifted willingly, pressing himself back into Severus when the man's warm body spooned up behind him. "Now close your eyes." Harry nodded, gasping when he felt Severus's nails gently rake up the side of his thigh and over his hip. "Now tell me -"

"Fingers, in me, please."
Severus obliged, taking the hand on Harry's hip and sliding it back into his cleft, finding his clenched entrance with a practiced ease. He slid one finger in past the muscle, rubbing at Harry's prostate when he found it, adding another when his gasps came with pleas for more. The young man was squirming now, rocking his hips back and forth into Severus's hand.

"More..." Harry whispered, his left arm reaching up and back, grasping a fistful of hair at the nape of his lover's neck and tugging his head forward for a kiss. His mouth pressed to Harry's, he slid a third finger in and began thrusting them in earnest, rubbing himself against Harry's lower back, letting him know that he still had one more thing to give.
"Now, oh I'm ready, Severus, please just... now..."

In one smooth motion, Severus placed the tip of his erection against Harry's opening and drew his fingers out as he pressed forward. He went slowly, and Harry's low moan was drawn out with the movement. When he was in his lover's tightness to the hilt, Severus ran his hand down Harry's thigh again and hooked his hand around his knee, lifting it slightly so that he could thrust deeper. Harry clung tightly to the back of his Severus's neck, crying out with each nudge to his prostate, pressing his hips back until he and Severus were flush together as close as they could get. Harry's orgasm came suddenly, and he shuddered against Severus as he spilt over the sheets beneath him. Severus stilled, not wanting to hurt his lover, but Harry ground his hips back against him again.

"No, keep going... want you to come too..."

Severus nodded against Harry's shoulder and thrust in again and again, tightening his grip on Harry's chest and knee, finally spilling his release into his young lover with an unexpected moan. Frozen for only a moment, he released Harry's leg and wrapped him in his arms with a sigh.

"Still feeling hot?"

Harry laughed and smacked him on the shoulder. "No - I'm sorry, Severus. Since this," he gestured to his belly, "it's been terrible; worse than ever before, and I can't even wank properly now!"

Severus chuckled - all men should be so lucky as to have a lover with a libido like the one his had. "Never apologize for your... enthusiasm again. Anyone would be extremely jealous were I to tell them I have a young, insatiable, gorgeous body in my bed every night."

Harry made a face. "Far from gorgeous, I think. And don't even think about feeding me any of that nonsense about pregnancy being beautiful or any of that. Men just weren't cut out for this... it's just... creepy."

Severus let out a loud bark of laughter and gently bit the nape of Harry's neck.
"I'll agree that I never imagined with my tastes that I would be having sex with someone in a state of pregnancy, but..." he smoothed a hand over Harry's belly, the light touch causing a shiver to shoot up the boy's spine, "it is not quite as repulsive as you think."

"Mm... well thank you anyway; I'll try to keep the middle-of-the-night episodes to a minimum."

Severus's hand slid up Harry's torso and rested at his chest, feeling the gentle heartbeat thudding beneath the skin there.
"Wake me whenever you like, Harry; I'm always here for you."

"I know. I love you, Severus."

Severus pulled the blankets back over them and lay back, letting Harry rest his head in the crook of his arm. Though he didn't say it, when Severus ran his fingers through Harry's disheveled hair, kissed his forehead, and rested his hand on Harry's growing belly, he returned Harry's love and hoped the boy would sense it.

September

Severus was becoming used to being nudged in the shoulder in the middle of the night to entertain Harry's sudden sexual urges, but really, this was becoming ridiculous; in the past week alone, he had got perhaps four hours of sleep a night, and while it didn't affect Harry in the least, Severus was too old for such habits. He tried to ignore the insistent prodding, but when it was coupled with his whispered name, Severus rolled over and gave his young lover a debilitating glare.

"I have class in the morning, Potter, so while I take a measure of satisfaction in your ravenous..." he trailed off, eyes adjusting to the light and shadows of Harry's face and seeing fear and panic there instead of playful arousal. "Harry? What's wrong?"

The younger man bit his lip and placed a hand on his belly. "I dunno... they've been kicking at me pretty hard for a few hours and it's starting to feel hot, like I did when I took the potion."

"Do you think it's time?"

Harry shrugged, but nothing about his demeanor was nonchalant - he was nearly trembling and every so often, a light grimace would pass over his face.

"Alright, get out of bed and try to put on some decent clothing - I'm going to Floo Madame Pomfrey." Harry shook his head and handed him the small talisman that the medi-witch had given him for emergencies. "Alright, is it wand-activated?"

Harry nodded, but he grabbed Severus's arm as the older man turned to fetch his wand. "But they still have another month! What if something's wrong with them?"

"Harry, you know most twins aren't carried to term, and Poppy said they were perfectly healthy - I'm sure everything's fine. Let's just go to Hogwarts, all right?"

Harry frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but a sudden bolt of pain shot through his body and he cried out, doubling over and falling sideways on the bed. Severus raced to the other side of the room to grab his wand and activate the small token before rushing back and kneeling next to Harry's side of the bed.

"Harry, can you get up?" The boy shook his head, face still screwed up in pain. Severus grabbed a pair of altered pajama bottoms from Harry's drawer and stretched him flat out on the bed to put them on. Once the boy was decently clothed, he scooped Harry up in his arms and carried him to the fireplace, hoping that the added weight of a writhing body wouldn't cause him to stumble on the other side.

On the Hogwarts end of the Floo connection, Madame Pomfrey had changed into her nursing robes and was bustling about, setting up potions and surgical tools, when Severus stumbled out of the large fireplace with Harry in his arms.

"Severus! What are you doing here?"

Severus set his young lover down so that he was standing, albeit slightly hunched over and cringing, with Harry's arm around his shoulders for support. "I am here to supervise Potter's delivery."

"That won't be necessary, Severus, I've hired a nurse from St. Mungo's to help me."

He glanced to Harry fleetingly, but the young man wasn't much help, clutching his belly and Severus's shoulder with a death-grip.
"Really, Poppy, as much as this is considered a woman's field, I'm sure I have invested too much in this pregnancy not to stay and see it out."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think Harry would be comfortable having -"

Harry let out a pained groan. "Oh for God's sake, Poppy, they're his! Now can you please get them out before they kill me?!"

The medi-witch only spared a moment to blink in shock before she regained her professionalism and nodded, ushering Harry over to a high bed covered in pristine white sheets and a single pillow.

"Harry, is the pain in waves like contractions?" He shook his head. "Constant?" He nodded furiously, grimacing for effect. "Hmm... well, yes, I suppose that makes sense. Severus, get him in that bed and stop his writhing - I'll be back in a moment."

He scooped Harry up again and laid him on the spotless surgical bed trying not to think of how much blood would soon be staining its sheets.

Madame Pomfrey was skilled to be sure, but Severus couldn't help but cringe when Harry's hand went limp in his, or when the sharpened blade ran across his bulging abdomen and dark rivers of blood ran down and pooled next to his body. Barely a minute had passed before she pulled out a squirming mass of flesh, cut the umbilical cord and placed it into a floating bubble of a cradle. Their firstborn. The other was out in the next minute and joined his brother in their cradle as the medi-witch injected a blood-replenishing potion into Harry's thigh. The nurse took the bubble in her hands and began to walk to the other side of the infirmary.

"Go with them, Severus - I have to stay here and close Harry's incision."

"But Harry -"

"Go with your sons, Severus. Now."

With one longing look at Harry rapidly paling in the surgical bed, he turned and followed the hired nurse to the other end of the infirmary. She placed the two squalling infants into a single bassinet, running her wand quickly over each tiny, squirming body, pausing at the heel of each child to take a drop of blood. Scrolls of parchment on either side of the bassinet began to fill with numbers and names of various reflexes and descriptions of both infants, but Severus couldn't take his eyes off of his sons.

His sons. He had long since given up hope of ever having a moment like this one, where he could see the sum of his future being decided before him and it would turn out positive instead of negative. Any life-changing event he had thus experienced had always left him worse for the wear, but he couldn't see how anything bad could come from the two infants before him, their darkness so trademark of him, their contrasting brightness so Harry. And now he was a parent. Neither he nor Harry had had a decent father, and Harry had gone through weeks of insecurity and doubt about having to become one himself, but Severus had never had such feelings until now, staring at his minute-old sons, knowing that the only thing they could depend on in the world was him, their father. Suddenly the responsibility of being a double-agent, a teacher, a House-Master, paled in comparison to the task of parenthood. Would he be able to plaster knees and dry tears? Would he be able to stay up at night through thunderstorms and nightmares? Did he have the strength to make his sons into men - good men like Harry and Albus and Lupin? The sudden halt in movement jolted him from his reverie and he looked up into the shyly smiling face of the young nurse who told him his children were healthy and that he was free to hold them if he wished and Baby A was the blue-eyed, Baby B's were grey, and what names should she put on their certificates.

Poppy was at his side several minutes later while he was stroking the arm of one little body and holding the other, whose head was nestled snugly in the crook of his arm. She had thankfully washed the blood from her hands and was smiling at the children she had delivered; Severus had only one question for her.

"How is he?"

"He's doing well. I had to remove the uterus along with the babies, though, so he will take a significant amount of time to recover from the operation, but he's already healing nicely. You can go see him if you like, though he won't be awake for another hour or so."

Severus nodded, placing the baby he was holding in the make-shift cradle before lifting the other to join him. He tucked the bubble under his arm and turned towards Harry's bed, only pausing at Poppy's soft touch on his arm.

"Really, Severus? You and Harry?"

"Yes, Poppy. Do you disapprove?"

She shook her head. "I like to think I know you well enough not to have to insult you by asking if Harry was forced into any of this, but I am still concerned about his welfare. Are you taking care of him, Severus?"

"As well as I can, Poppy, though it's probably not enough. He'll be staying with me until he wishes to leave, which... hopefully will not be for a long time."

The aging witch grinned at him and patted his shoulder. "Careful now, Severus, or I'll begin to suspect you're an old romantic."

He scoffed and turned away, striding toward Harry's bed with purpose, but his long robes didn't have quite the same angry flourish, and the malice in his voice was gone. He sat in the chair next to his lover's bedside, pleased to note that Harry's cheeks had regained their color and he was breathing evenly. He transfigured the ridiculous bubble-cradle into a proper rocking one and settled in to wait with his sons until Harry woke up.

An hour and a half later, Harry's eyes fluttered open and he immediately felt the warm presence of Severus's hand in his and that familiar gaze on his face.

"S... Severus... where are they? Are they alright?"

"They're here," he gestured to the rocking bassinet next to Harry's bed, "and they're both fine. Would you like to see them?" Harry nodded and smiled, too weak to do anything else. Severus stood over his sleeping sons and gently shifted the larger into his arms, Harry held his arms out as Severus lifted their child over the bed and settled him in the cradle of his other father's hands. "I took the liberty of naming them - that little flit of a nurse was vexing me about it."

Harry brushed a tiny black curl off his son's forehead. "You didn't change them, did you?" Severus shook his head. "Good; who's this, then?"

"The lighter aura, firstborn, Brennan James."

"Give me the other too, I want to see them both."

Severus lifted their other son out of the bassinet as Harry shifted Brennan to one arm. "And this one, darker aura, Eliot... Severus." Harry chuckled softly at his lover's grimace. "I still don't see why we had to name one after me."

"Oh, stop being such a prat - it's a good name."
Severus scoffed, but his displeasure was swiftly forgotten when he saw the brilliant happiness that radiated from Harry's face. "They're beautiful, aren't they, Sev?"

"Yes. Yes, they are." He reached out and ran his thumb across both baby-soft cheeks. "Thank Merlin they both have your nose."

As Harry's laughter rang throughout the infirmary, peace settled over Severus's heart - they were all going to be all right. And when he gathered his squirming sons in his arms to let Harry rest, he split his protective gaze between the three of them. He laid the boys back in their cradle when he felt his eyelids start to close, and the soothing rock of the wood beneath his foot lulled them all to sleep.

November

Severus stomped into his house, having spent the day dealing with idiocy of the worst kind - incompetent first years, snotty third years, brainless sixth years, and yet another two pairs of hand-knit mittens from Minerva. Ridiculous. The batty woman must have thought he was leaving his children to sleep in the bloody snow for all the mittens and booties and jumpers and...

Severus was just about to throw his cloak on the floor and Accio some Firewhiskey and a large glass, when he stopped in his tracks. Harry was standing in the parlor with a stack of paper snowflakes in his hand, humming a Christmas carol and putting sticking charms on the snowflakes to fix them on the wide windows in the room. The entrance Severus had used made it so that Harry had not yet seen him; his back, where a little black-haired bundle was resting in a sling, faced the doorway. Severus approached his lover and child with cautious silence, not yet wanting them to be aware of his presence. It only took him a few moments to realize the baby with his tummy and face pressed against Harry's back was Eliot, the smaller and least sanguine of their two little boys; he was asleep with his fists resting up next to his cheeks, breathing deeply and smoothly. A little giggle broke the melody of Harry's humming, and a deeper chuckle followed it as Harry finally turned to the side and Severus could see their other child was slung across Harry's front and reaching up with a chubby hand to grasp at a piece of mistletoe his daddy was holding above his head.

"No, Brennan, we kiss under mistletoe, like this." Harry leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his son's forehead and Brennan giggled again, this time reaching for Harry's glasses. Harry tugged them out of his hand with a smile and touched their noses together. "Silly boy. That's what your father would call you. Just wait 'til I tell him what you did today; he'll be so pleased he'll rub it in my face for months." Brennan scrunched up his little nose and sneezed right in Harry's face, and Severus could no longer hold back his laughter. Harry turned towards the doorway in surprise. "Oh, you're home!" Harry abandoned his snowflakes to the low table in front of the sofa and walked over to his lover with a wide smile, leaning over the baby to give him a full kiss.

When they parted, he turned his back to Severus again, presenting him with his sleeping child. "Will you take Eliot, please? He's asleep again, and I'm afraid I'll wake him if I try to walk back up the stairs."

Severus gently slipped his hands between the baby's tiny chest and his arms, lifting him out of the sling on Harry's back and into his own arms. Eliot whimpered slightly at the movement, but swiftly nuzzled into his father's warm chest and fell back asleep.

"Thanks, love. He's finally sleeping so well, I feel horrible when I wake him up." Harry unwrapped the extra sling from his shoulders and tossed it on the sofa with a sigh. He stood side by side with the older man, so that their other son could see his father's face, and watched Brennan's little dark blue eyes light up as he smiled and reached his chubby arms up for Severus. The man put his arm reflexively around Harry's waist and shifted the child he was holding to one arm so that he could stroke his other child's cheek.

"And how were the boys today?"

"They were fine. Guess what your son did earlier."

"Must have been something dreadful for him to be my son."

Harry chuckled. "Depends on your point of view, I suppose. You won't find it dreadful at all."

"Go on then, what has he done?"

"Well, I was packing away some of my old school stuff and went to go get my uniforms from the laundry. Draco must have left one of his Slytherin ties here because there was one mixed in with all of mine, and I put them in a big pile on the floor with Brennan while I got the boxes down. When I came back, your son was laying on his back in the pile, the Slytherin tie wrapped in his fists and laughing like he was the happiest baby on the planet."

Severus grinned, a rarity for him, and shifted Eliot to one arm again so he could run his fingers from Brennan's throat down his chest and tummy, which always made him squeal in delight. "Well, well, a Slytherin already. I may have to dig out my old potions kit sooner than I thought."

Harry groaned. "Oh great - you'll turn him into a carbon copy of you before he's five; I won't even have to wait until he's a teenager for him to start snarking off to me. Well, if you get him, then I get Eliot, and I'm giving him a broomstick as soon as he can walk."

"I think this family has its fill of cheeky brats, Potter. Leave them both to me, and they'll turn out splendidly."

Harry rolled his eyes, shifted the baby from the sling to his shoulder, and walked towards the kitchen. "Did you bring food? I'm starving."

Severus followed, still cradling Eliot in his arms. "One of the house elves said he'd come by in about a half hour to bring some dinner. Shall we feed the children first?"

Harry nodded. "Just Brennan. I don't want to wake Eliot yet - we can feed him when he gets up."

Severus sat at the table, gaze alternating between his son's face and his lover bustling about the kitchen to prepare a bottle for their other son. Finally, Harry joined him at the table and propped Brennan up in his arms as the baby attacked the bottle with enthusiasm. The minute Brennan started eating, Eliot's little fist drifted up by his face and he began to suck his thumb. Harry laughed and Severus smiled, and when Severus looked up and saw the utter joy on Harry's face when he smiled back at him, he felt a warmth that he had never felt on his own, a sort of subdued happiness that, though not as strong as the near-painful desire he felt for the man, glowed and burned slowly in his chest and made him want Harry more than ever.

They didn't make love that night, but when the boys were put to bed and they slid between their own sheets, Severus held Harry close, using the cold of winter as an excuse, and Harry's strong arms wrapped back around him, a knowing smile on his face. Severus thought he might have finally found something worth keeping; that thought brought back the warm, loving feeling he had felt in the kitchen, and comforted him into sleep.

December

The bitterness of winter had finally etched itself into every corner of Severus's house, and each of its four occupants had been sick at least once. Ear infections, runny noses, raspy coughs, and fleeting but violent stomach aches had been their constant companions; both Harry and Severus were looking forward to a quiet holiday break at home and praying that health accompanied it. By the time Severus was able to come home for more than his nights, it was a week before Christmas, and the health they had been wishing for had finally come. Brennan and Eliot had gone back to sleeping through the night, and Harry had recovered from the exhaustion of caring for two sick infants while he himself was ill. Severus, unable to spend most days with his sons, had taken to watching them out of the corner of his eye the whole day through, and both he and Harry were able to enjoy seeing them grow and learn and spread the impossible amount of love they possessed, for ones so small.

The boys had only gotten closer with age, and they still loved to be near each other, both unable to sleep if the other was not in the room and usually found laughing together in their crib when their fathers woke and checked on them in the morning. Last month they had been fascinated by prodding each other in the face - Eliot poking Brennan's nose, while Brennan nudged his brother in the cheek with a tiny finger, eliciting giggles from them both - but for the past couple weeks they had taken to falling asleep on top of each other in the oddest places. Harry had first found them snuggled together in the corner of their crib having squished themselves as far into the corner as they could get, leaving full feet of empty space; and later, Severus had found them in one of Draco's armchairs during one of their godfather's visits, Brennan laying on his stomach, Eliot leaning up against him on his back, the lazy blond asleep across from them in an armchair of his own. Now they were sprawled under the Christmas tree, Eliot's head pillowed on his brother's tummy while Brennan had a fistful of his brother's pajama sleeve curled in his hand and his little lips curled around an unbreakable candy-cane, reflexively sucking as he slept.

Harry and Severus themselves were stretched out across the parlor floor, the younger man nestled snugly in the sharp 'V' made by the elder's legs, leaning back against his chest, dozing peacefully after their Christmas feast. The fire crackled in front of them as Severus traced aimless patterns on Harry's thigh with his fingertips and held one of his new books in his other hand. They had had a beautiful Christmas day, starting with waking the boys and sharing breakfast before presents. Once their gifts were opened, they headed out in the snow where Severus entertained their children by charming little snowmen to hop around until they burst into little clouds of the freezing white powder, an act that had all of them smiling, laughing outright, or giggling with innocent pleasure. Molly had insisted on having them over for Christmas dinner, so they were off to that next, where their poor sons had been accosted by cooing, starry-eyed females at every turn, leaving them thoroughly overwhelmed and wracked with sobs that could only be cured with the subtle, steady love they received from Severus. This had, of course, caused quite a stir among the ridiculously large gathering of his former pupils, wondering how their damnable bastard of a Professor could soothe his children with the same voice that he had so often used to admonish his students for their ineptitude. Harry had an amused grin on his face the whole day through, and he noticed that, for the first time while in a congregation of friends, he was never questioned as to what he saw in Severus, a question that he had never answered with anything but a smile. They had come a long way in a year, and with a highly juvenile giggle, he realized that it was precisely their one-year anniversary.

"I wasn't aware the fire was so amusing. I wonder what can be going through that little mind of yours."

"Oh nothing... I was just thinking of how different this is from how we spent our last Christmas night."

Severus chuckled and closed his book, laying it on the sofa behind his back and circling his arms around Harry's waist, letting them rest on his once again flat stomach. The young man hummed appreciatively and leaned his head up for a kiss. When it was broken, they let a few moments of silence pass before Harry spoke in a near whisper.
"This is my first Christmas with a real family - a family that's mine. It feels good, doesn't it?"

"Indeed it does. I have not had such a holiday in a remarkable amount of time - since I was very small at least. Seems I'm always spending my Christmases tending after brats." He unclasped his hands and ran one of his palms up Harry's chest, scraping his collarbone with his nails lightly when he got to it. "Then again, I'm spending this Christmas tending to a brat as well."

Harry chuckled, arching his neck to give Severus access to it. "Yes, but I'm your favorite brat. Actually, I don't think you're allowed to call me that anymore, what with my being a father and all."

"You'll always be a brat, Harry."

"And you'll always be a git."

Severus nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "As it should be." And in that moment of perfect contentedness, of such blissful peace and obvious adoration, Severus knew that it was time to break out the question he'd been holding onto for close to a year. He leaned his head forward slightly and moved his lips so that they brushed his young lover's ear and made him shiver.
"Will you bond with me, Harry?"

The body resting against his stiffened and twisted around to look him in the eyes. The young face that studied Severus was full of fear, excitement, but most of all, hope.
"Are you serious?"

Severus leaned forward to kiss the candy-cane stained lips in front of him, pouring all the love he had for Harry into the kiss so that, even if he couldn't say it outright, Harry could sense what Severus felt for him. The older man pulled away shortly and nodded.
"Yes, I'm serious."

Harry's still-youthful face lit up with joy and for a moment, Severus was sure his heart wouldn't know what to do if he said 'yes'. Still, when Harry's face melted into a cautious frown and that joy was suddenly shielded behind a thick wall, he was far from relieved.

"What's wrong?"

"This isn't just because of the boys?"

Severus sighed and ran the back of his hand over the smooth line of Harry's jaw. "No, Harry. I do want our sons to have a stable family life, but I'm asking you to be my bond-mate because whatever time left I have to spend in this life I want it to be spent with you, and I want you to belong to me and no other, and I love you."

The distress in Harry's eyes melted away and a blush rose to his cheeks in its wake. "You do?"

"I do, and I have for some time. It is... difficult for me to say, but yes, I love you, and I want you to be mine."

A hint of a tear collected in Harry's eyes briefly, but his brilliant smile could not be mistaken for anything but absolute joy. "I love you too, and I'm already yours, Severus - of course I'll bond with you." They both smiled, grinning helplessly like they were little boys again until Harry let out a sobbing sort of laugh and fell on Severus, kissing him thoroughly as though because they were in love they no longer had to breathe anything but each other. When Harry's lips finally broke away and widened into a yawn, Severus smiled and glanced at their children sleeping under the tree.

"Come - we can discuss this in the morning. Let's get you to bed; you're exhausted."

"Well," Harry said, stretching his arms above his head and accepting the press of lips to his neck, "I agree with you that we should go to bed, but I'm far from exhausted. I was just thinking - this Christmas doesn't have to be so different from our last..." With a shamelessly ravenous look, he grinned at Severus and slipped off his lap, desperately trying to keep himself from giggling at the look of absolute hunger that blossomed on his lover's face. They rose from the floor and untangled the twins, each grabbing one and clutching him close to his chest. The men laid them in their crib and they immediately snuggled together like wolf-cubs in the snow under the blanket their fathers laid on them. Harry took Severus's hand and led him silently down the corridor to their bedroom door where he promptly turned on his heel, threw his arms around Severus's neck and kissed him with a fire that was only starting to spread its heat to the night. The older man wrapped him in his arms and relished the taste of Harry under his tongue - peppermint, cinnamon, flying - until finally the young man pulled away and twisted his arm around his back to open the door.

"Now, come to bed, love, and I'll give you the best Christmas present you've ever had."

Severus chuckled and followed Harry into the bedroom, knowing all the while that the young man was wrong. Harry had already given him his love and the gift of family in the form of himself and the two boys they had just put to bed, and those were the best gifts he had ever received, even . He knew he had a lifetime's worth of mistakes to make up for, but none of those would last as long as the two in the next room, and perhaps all it would take for him to receive redemption for the others would be to cherish this one mistake as long as he lived. And as he walked into the bedroom, rubbing absently at his Dark Mark, he though it might not be so hard to move on after all, and with Harry at his side, he could do it, and he would never look back again.

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